My Lefty, My Righty

"Mom, go do it... see if you can clear it." My Sergeant says about this neighborhood bike ramp my boys discovered this past week. He said it like there was no doubt in his little mind his delicate mom could take the dip, height in the middle and crash land ending in the dirt... all on her pink beach cruiser that squeaks. Made me giggle and almost try it. Instead my boys had their fill of it themselves this weekend, the wounds to prove it. A hair shy of our annual ER visit. Benny looks like his face was rubbed with coarse sand paper... Stink developed an Easter Egg above his right eye. When the gravel gave Benny the unpleasant kiss, his brother was right there by his side... walked crying Benny to meet mom with one hand and with the other walked Benny's bike. He said the precious words I've caught him saying many times before, " It's o.k. Buddy". They most certainly look out for eachother, which brings me to this...


A book that sits on our dinner table to read together called "Mothers and Sons- why sons always need their mothers". A page that is true: A son needs a mother to encourage brotherly love. Brothers are a blessing not everyone gets the chance to have. The brotherhood is a unique relationship that should be nurtured, cherished by the lucky keepers. Any mother of sons knows it needs proper encouragement and guidance at the right times. My boys certainly know how to love eachother, no doubt. I leave that be to them and watch it blossom into their unique bond only they can create. I know well it is a fond/fight relationship. Mom steps in during the fights to preserve and remind them of the fondness they have for eachother. Sometimes it works, and it's through a break, discipline, or redirection of focus. I'm lucky that my boys already have formed a strong brother-bond. It does have it's trying times though... They are different, in almost every single way.

Sergeant Stink (Primary Love Languages: Gift Giving, Acts of Service)

-likes short hair

-very outgoing

-can handle quite a bit

-protective

-adores his mom

-eyelids are shut by 8pm, early riser

-loves a big breakfast, first thing

-washes every crevice and compliments it with body spray

-right handed

-brown eyed

-stindgy with his goods

-stays out of the kitchen unless someone made food for him

-electronically challenged

-"mom do it for me"

-adjusts to things quickly

-prefers fish and fruit

-likes things, trinkets and clutter

-Non fiction reader

Benny (Primary Love Languages: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation)

-likes long hair

-sensitive and shy

-needs a little more nurturing

-wants to know he's protected

-adores his dad

-goes to bed late, likes to sleep in

-doesn't like eating breakfast

-needs to be reminded to comb his hair and use soap in the shower

-left handed

-blue eyed

-likes to share anything he can with you

-loves to cook with mom

-good with electronics

-"mom, let me do it"

-needs to be well prepared for things/no surprises

-enjoys preservative loaded food

-likes a clean, organized, have only what you need environment

-fiction reader

It's no wonder why they have some occasional clashing... but they do compliment eachother very well. I don't know if it's their strong love, differences, or the combination. Whatever it may be, it works. Caring, sharing Benny usually lets brother have the first say because he knows he likes to run the show. Benny taught Stink how to use his PSP. Something that Stink told me about... I will never forget. His brother would get scared and cry at night when he was away from home, adjusting to somewhere new. Stink told me he would hear him and go to his room in the night to sleep with him so that he wouldn't be so scared. I bet I know just what he told him too... buddy it's o.k. One thing my two boys will always have is 'eachother'. Despite the shuffling and some things they go through, they can always count on going through them with one another. Here they are, together...

and again...Here's another...and a couple more... and another...
another...

and another...

I couldn't narrow it down! ;)

Winner, Winner... Sleepy Dinner

He's fast... he's fierce... he's mine... he's first!!! My Sergeant reminded me at the dinner table tonight that he's always finished first place in all of his running club races he's ever competed in... he's right! He was having this conversation, chewing his pork chop and falling asleep- all at once. Tired boy. Then I remind them who they get their legs and endurance from. I was so proud of both of my boys, they give it their all, every time. That and fun is all I hope for. We start our race mornings followed by lots of sleep the night before and a huge breakfast of their choice, light lunch, and 1/2 energy bar before the race then eat the other 1/2 after.
Here S. Stink is at Race #1... made mom get up on the table, scream and get FroYo two times in one week.

Here the babes are at Race #2 today... I had a special request to bring the Texans pillow pet to watch for good luck. We did. It worked.You two are the glisten in my eyes, smile on my face and song in my heart. Love you cupcakes... kiss-kiss

Someday: Codeword for "Never"

James 4:13


It was the Sunday message that struck a cord... yes, one of those. Makes you listen to every word, maybe even sweat a bit. We all have things that are in our thoughts and words that we say we will get to eventually at some point in our lives... 'someday'. I'm a do-er by nature so when I sat in church that morning thinking I'm just taking home a great lesson, the interrogation light turns on and boils me from the inside to out. It started with the realization that our life is like a puff of smoke. It's here... briefly though then gone. I only hope my vapor is as valuable as it's supposed to be.

Someday is a tune that started to be sung since my divorce. That tune of someday I will be a great partner, a fabulous wife again. Truth is I don't let myself get there... I sometimes avoid men, some like a plague and some of them just really annoy me. Sometimes I'd wish it was proper to wear a sign that said "Leave me alone, I'm healing amongst many other things." Then on the back of that sign maybe, "Seriously, go away for now." Or maybe a deterrent of some sort would have been friendlier. Our 'somedays' can cost us, maybe more than we thought to pay... it can also cost others. Just when I started to feel a shimmer of guilt I stopped. I needed this time, deserved this time. There wasn't anyone who I would allow to take this from me. Like I had wrote before in words typed from my very hands... "It takes time, serious time." I needed these moments to heal and focus on my healing children... capture our worth as a trio and imprinting that to make sure we don't accept what we once did. Times are now different for us and there are always things that will need my focus or added attention, but it's time to be open to some things.

I've come a long little way if I reflect. I'm still saucy, a little more confident and always stay humble. I'm pretty self sufficient minus putting in the new air filters backwards and some other things I won't mention. I'm also comfortable with it being my children and I and comfortable with just I at times. I had some fun and freedom. It's peaceful now, tempting to linger too much in. My Mr. Big was in town recently. My eyes saw him differently and the touch was not the same.

It was January 29th, I won't forget the date I realized it sort of unexpectedly. I prayed long, long ago for the Lord to let me know if this time would come. He answered me that 1/29 morning, I knew it. The person I went with whispered a special question. Even the following week I was working very busy of course and in mid-charting when someone came up to me and said, "Did you make your someday today? I saw you at church and just wanted to ask." I smiled at this one. We are never stamped ready, as we thankfully continue to learn and be taught... but if we were I would be, here and now. I may not have the 'someday' today, tomorrow or ever... but at least I recognize where I'm at. Sincerely... My Healed Heart

Happy Valentines Day!




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