Mediocre Medium

I was so utterly full of whole wheat blueberry pancakes this morning that I even remorsefully eyed the morning's communion differently... as we talked about being still, content, a little less legalistic.  It can be hard to do. We like busy, it's certainly fun to be on the go. It can and does eventually catch up whether you see it, feel it, both or neither.


School, running club, running all over town, homework, soccer practice, plus games, football, mom's house, dad's house... then mixing in some sort of nutrition, family time, friendships, sleep. Hault!

I smelled it. It was too much, boys. Before soccer ended I felt it in the cranky attitudes, and saw it on the sleeping faces in the car. It was going to stop, at least at my house, anyway. I love to be the mom that does it freaking all... I try my hardest anyway. It's a tricky balance as a single parent and there are some things that we just have to alter now that my boys and I have different demands. If  we aren't respecting these higher demands- we are short with eachother, family time dwindles, we don't see our friends as much... all of the really, really, really important things fade. I will be the mom that notices them and saves them. Club Soccer was absolutely so much fun, but honestly too high of a demand for our demands. So... it's a break until Fall Football, at my house.

It's been so nice. We are working on attitudes, communicating... brushing our teeth twice daily, seriously. The boys have had time to play with their old friends again... we even met new ones. I can't tell you how good it was to have some of my neighbors over and hear my girlfriend's familiar snort after a couple glasses of vino. I even got to go out on a few dates.

This weekend my boys came home :) Their usual routine when they come home is to go straight to the kitchen and eat, strip off unimportant clothing, wipe out somewhere for talks/snuggles/kisses and poop somewhere between these things. My Sergeant told me how tired he has been, how he just wants to rest this Saturday afternoon. This of course had nothing to do with the recent NFL draft. So this weekend, we stayed put... we were still. I find that in those times the best memories are made. I see my children's unique personalities a bit more. I did two things I often don't get the chance to do: read uninteruppted chapters in my book and watch a full movie without falling asleep. Benny and Stink drug out toys that they haven't seen in a while and used their imaginations. We swam... and had our first night-swim (a favorite of ours). Well, the boys did anyway... still too chilly for mom to dip anything more than her feet in. We had a booksale today that we all pitched in for...

I'm even blessed to have this time to reflect... it's a work in progress to squeeze in all the things we still love and then have time for our very important, top priority relationships. We will find our happy medium! Sometimes less is more...

Hope

This house of mine is full of love... more than ever and sometimes feels like it's busting at the seams. I am so blessed. I love to share that atmosphere over delicious food and fun times. Especially like on days today... where celebration is... a must (just like ties on Easter Sunday).

We did share some lovely times today in this house full of love, with loved ones. I will say though that my internal aura was different for me. I am tired. I probably worked too much this week then stayed up too late cooking and preparing my home and baskets for the people I love. Benny woke up at 2am to shuffle through his Easter basket Mom made for him... then tried to wake up brother to tell him he had one too. At 5:30am I heard Benny at the back door awing at the shiny eggs he spotted. I had to stop him when I heard the screech of the wooden chair as he dragged it to the door to open the lock. He was really going all the way for it until Mom stopped him.

I started my day unintentionally cranky, stemming from lack of sleep. I did partially melt when I saw my muffins in their ties... wanted to eat them alive like I do every year, so handsome those boys are. It was a peaceful day. The boys played so hard. They metabolized all of their sugar they ingested and had the black feet to prove it. We decorated what I think was the best Easter eggs yet... We attached the egg's arms and hair with super glue. This opened a whole new world for Benny... he discovered something better than tape. I saw him reach for it when he thought no one was looking. Could have been disastrous.

Benny's:

Stink's:

More importantly than Easter Egg Hunts and candy is the story behind the celebration. My God sent his one and only Son to us. This Son walked the Earth created to share wisdom and unconditional love and write a story to guide us all. He went through shame and hatred and died the most tortuous death ever known to us... one so painful we cannot comprehend. What we can comprehend is the message. The message I heard today was that there has to be an insurrection before there can be a resurrection. All that we see is not all that there is, and is supported by something much Greater than ourselves. We all get to a place or have a moment where we lose hope. We do not know the plan for us or what is ahead. We can choose to let it go to the right Hands and have hope through obedience and patience... the sweetest surrender. Embrace the troubled times, it may be a part of your plan... pray through it, but certainly don't let go of your hope.

I sat with someone today who told me she had set up her life in an order she thought was right. She said she thought she had it all with her house and everything in it and all she had.... until all she had was lost. She realized that those things were simply things... and that stuff doesn't matter. What she was left with was herself and discovering deeper. How amazing.

Happy Easter... may you remember the story... and your own. Now mama bear wants to go read Peter Rabbit to her cupcakes... ;)