Resisting Cupid

I was a lucky girl this Valentines Day... two men are completely crazy about me (their picture below). I woke up to Sergeant Stink standing at my bedside with a grin from ear to ear. I was tired. Benny was lethargic and running a fever next to me... I was mothering a sick one all night. I was, for just a moment, envious that Benny was still asleep. Then Stinks enthusiasm perked me up as he says "Happy Balentines Day Mom". His hands are behind his back holding something as he tells me all his morning chores are done. S. Stink says "Mom, I brushed my teeth already, my bed is made, and I even have my shoes on and my shirt tucked in." He continues with, "I made you something, your going to love it." He gives to me his hand-made Valentine he was clenching behind his back. I told him how I couldn't wait to open it, but it's so special I'm going to hold back until the time is right. So we both made breakfast and ate together before I sent him off to school. Then there's my sweet Benny who was sick, but I was thankful I had my other Valentine to love on all day. When Stink came home from school I locked myself in my room and hysterically yelled, "Help, Help!!! I've been bitten!!!" They really didn't care at first. Benny was watching some cartoon on the couch breaking a fever and the other said, "Hang on mom, I have to poop." As soon as I heard the toilet flush it was go time. My help cries got louder. So they open the door and I yell "I've been bitten... by the love bug." They smiled and each took their bag of goodies from my hands that I made them.

After the boys dug into their bags Stink handed me his Valentine again, he knew it was the right time. Here it is:
{i love you because you let us play wii, you make us good food, you tuck us in bed, let us go on vacations, help us with our mastakes, and what would we do without you you are the best mom in the world!}
My heart melted and welled up my big eyes. He unnecessarily asks, "Don't you love it mom?" My teacher didn't even help me. Then he proceeds to tell me how he wrote the same thing for Dad, but he had to copy mine because he didn't know what to write on his. He confessed he borrowed a pink crayon from someone for the front heart he drew because he knows that's my favorite color. He asked if I was going to read it every Valentines Day. He was proud of his Valentine for his special girl. He truly adores his mom, always has, and always makes sure I know. He's smart and was going to make sure this day was special for me.

Then there's Benny who got his mom all to himself for most of the day to love on. My dear friend caught his Valentine posted on a school bulletin in a hallway. When I got her picture message of this, I couldn't help but laugh hard.

{footdall, footdall i love you. I like to wear the uniform. black and gold. to the sants it will be true.}

The day was wonderful. I grilled for us and made a special Valentines Dessert after soccer practice. Then it ended with Benny spiking another fever and crying that he didn't want me to go to work in the morning. He needed me. My single parent challenges hit hard after putting the kids to bed. It gets the best of me sometimes and I wept. Then I was reminded of my strength by someone.

I am single on this Valentines Day, and proud of it. I have come a very long way, and I really don't mind if there's more to go. I had exactly a year of an on/off relationship with "Mr. Big". He will forever have a piece of my heart- I will always be here for him and love him. It was a great and fun chapter I didn't want to end, especially with a trip to St. Lucia involved. There was a brief desire to end it after some island time... but it had to be done when I felt it was over- you can never find the right one if you don't let go of the wrong one first. It was the right thing to do. I'm fastidious when it comes to men and relationships. I didn't take the first thing at the bar, and more than likely not going to take anything from there. I could, and it may make things easy for the short-term, but I know all too well it's a life of turmoil ahead. No thanks. I'm hard to approach, hard to date, and even harder to keep. I know this... it's for 3 main reasons and thousands of special small ones. It's complicated... but choosing your life partner the right way should be. I will never settle again, ever. Not searching for perfection, but a good guy. I'm seeing a truly good man is hard to find these days... I know mine is out there. In the meantime, let the fastidious fun continue and I will resist cupid until then. Happy Valentine's Day!!

Squeezy Hour

My fingers itched to write at my not-so-usual time this morning. I woke up, laid in bed and missed my children. I missed them this morning running into my room first thing with something funny to tell me, some surprise (both the good and bad), or maybe their snuggles they share that make the perfect start to my day. I enjoy my tiny breaks from motherhood when the boys are with their dad as I work and do my own thing. Which brings me to "squeezy hour". It's a time my little family has when they return home to me at my house after dad's. We have all missed each other. My children are to me what Gatorade is to the parched. I am usually crazed with wanting to hug them, hold them, smell them, give them lots of kisses, talk to them about their day(s).... and squeeze- the living crap out of them. It's not really an hour of this, although I would like it to be! I usually give them a warning on the phone if it's going to be a lengthy squeezy hour, but I find that they are usually in agreeance and we all miss each other just as much. Sometimes my boys will try to act like they've had enough, that little boy rebellion and playing hard to get. I admit, it's difficult to stop telling them how much I love them and squeezing the smithereens out of them but by the looks in their eyes they enjoy it just as much... and they always come back for seconds, thirds, fourths, and fifths- until they remember the wii at my house. Today, they don't know it yet... but when they walk through that door from school, it's a surprise lengthy squeezy hour.