D Day

Decision Day... the hardest, most lowest day of my life... today. I asked for this day, for this discussion this morning because I needed it. Where were we going? I put myself out there a week ago, out there for rejection. I was willing to forgive you and forget it. That's the way I saw our marriage and always have: you do whatever it takes to make it work, because you made that commitment for a reason... because I love you for you... because it's so much more... because I would have done anything for you, and did. That's the way a marriage should be, it's sad how it isn't with a lot of people anymore. Now you left us as a statistic and ran away.

Your reasons are as weak as your character. You say you can't give it 100%, you say you never did, and you say I deserve better. You say your tired of hurting me, you don't want to do it anymore. You say I'm a good person and I deserve something better than the life you can give me. Thank you for being honest, but no thanks. We deserved you... a husband and father who could open his eyes and realize what he's got in front of him, take it, and value it. Couldn't do it. What a disappointment to say the very least.

Infidelity. Not the first time in our marriage, most likely not the second. I was naive, accustomed to the worthlessness you blindly put me through. What a sick box you kept me in. I know I've got a lot of work to do on myself, but I didn't do this. Your right, all of it is your fault. I just loved you, maybe too much if there is such a thing.

Ahh, rejection. Rejection is okay, because I can rest knowing that I did everything I could and more. You can't. You say you have to "find yourself" because you don't know who you are. I wish you would wake up. What a devastating mistake. What an empty road your choosing. But that's your choice. You will realize how big of a mistake this is one day, when the hangover won't go away. Probably too late then.

I will always, always love you, and truly wish you the best. Thank you for giving me some of the best memories of my life, really. Thank you for the happy times, and even the sad ones. Thank you for what you invested, even if it wasn't your all- because it made me happy. It seemed real to me. Thank you for coming over today and crying harder than we've ever before together, drenching each other's shoulders, allowing me to hold you, kiss you, and smell you one last time. I will never forget you. I do forgive you. These were our famous last words. Goodbye...