Bittersweet

Well, the day my big boy goes to K is here! You know I can remember when I gave birth to him, his tiny 6 lb 4 oz body with blonde hair and eyes for mommy. He was a "mamas boy" from the start. When he was around 1 year old he had these fly away baby hairs by his ears that were oh-so-cute. They would fill up with his baby smells, and to this day I am still addicted to smelling that spot by his ears throughout the day- its the sweetest smell in the world. I have breast-fed him, changed his didies, got thrown up on, help teach him right from wrong, and so much more. The biggest joy of my heart though is to see what a strong and intelligent boy that kid is. He may be stubborn, but he knows what he wants... and that is good. He has a precious heart, and my gosh EXCITED about everything. I love to tell him things or places we are going for the day and watch his big brown eyes fill up with joy and wonder about what the experience will bring. I can't believe the day that he starts the rest of his childhood life in school is here. It seriously flew by so quick. He is beyond ready for this day, and I know that, so I knew I would be taking this okay today. This morning he woke up ecstatic and got all ready for school, all fresh and shiny with his new stuff on. He had his favorite for breakfast: pancakes. Then it came time to go and I was putting his water bottle and lunch I made him in his backpack and there it went... the tears came a rollin' without any warning and it hit me. I just clenched him and kissed him and smelled him. I told him I would miss him so, and I will. When we got to his classroom I gave him my love and gave him a look at his desk as he looked at me and showed me a smile in return to let me know how strong he is, but through that smile I could see a side of hesitation. I found this poem that suited this day well:

My son I am here

I cannot protect you from everything in the world,

My son I am here

I can only love you no matter what,

My son I am here

My love unconditional on this day you can rely,

My son I am here

To guide and teach you and now you must fly,

My son I am here

Life can be difficult I hear you cry,

My son I am here

Changes are painful never forget who you are,

My son I am here

Maintain the faith in God and yourself,

My son I am here

Self acceptance is yours do not fear,

My son I am here.

I am so in love with that boy. He is going to do well in school, and I can't wait to see what he becomes in life. He is such a great person and I am proud to be his "mama". Have a great day at K, little one...