Summer Family Trip

I couldn't wait until our vacation... It was much needed. So needed, I probably could of used a pre-cation before the actual vacation. Mom was getting cranky, snappy and short with people. Toward the end of summer I don't tolerate what I usually can. My battery gets depleted, which yes, is pretty hard to do. The summer can drain the juice from me- keeping the boys active and occupied during these hot days require a whole lot of energy on top of my usual expense. This is why I like to plan a little something-something for us toward the end of summer. I wanted a different type of vacation than we have had before, something new. We decided on a cruise... to Mexico. Off we went from mom's tight home ship to a much looser one.

It started with a couple of giggles. I admit, I am geographically challenged. I am also a sweet girl, however not so on the road. I have a heavy foot, ride peoples tails, sing and sometimes think the rules of the road don't apply to me. My kids now call me Mario. I am that annoying driver. These challenges and driving habits of mine tend to not mix well. Jen-Jen decided to hit the road and had the confidence to hit it without a Tom-Tom. I made it to Huntington Beach when I knew that though it was a nice place, things weren't quite right. I had made great time due to my lead foot, but went about 25 mins too far. Just when I wanted to shout out to the world all things wrong with mapquest.com I stopped. It was me. I was probably messing with my phone, applying lip gloss or eating when I missed my turn. Yes, I multitask in the car on top of all the other rotten stuff too. I didn't know if it was the caffeine I had ingested or the fact that I might be lost that gave me mild tremors. The boys chuckled in the back as I was having a hard time. Stink tells me I will figure it out, I always do. I did. I stopped and played the lost little girl like I was to a cute surfer boy and got hand written directions. Made it... early!

On to the next giggle as we get into our teeny-tiny room (which I don't mind... we like to be cozy).

The boys exchanged some brotherly dialogue as they looked at each other and caught a little gasp of air between laughs.

We had a freakin' blast!! Waking up to sea breeze and ocean waves takes me to a different place, on a ship or off. I was thankful that my cell phone didn't work... I thoroughly enjoyed getting away from electronics, some people, and even forgot what day and time it was at one point. We went to Catalina Island, where we para sailed and did some kayaking. The para sailing was my fave... so peaceful way up there, and I had my two bundles of joys right by my side. My babes faves was the kayaking. The water was so clear, so beautiful. We kayaked most of the day, down to Turtle Rock. Towards the beginning, midway and end the boys took dips in the Pacific. Benny freaked for a moment when a piece of seaweed touched his leg as he was swimming. I shouldn't have asked, "What is that?" as I looked at the weed in the water next to him. His eyes got big and he swam to the boat, quick-quick-quick. When we arrived in Mexico, we took a tour where the guide put Benny and I to sleep on the bus literally. The boys enjoyed seeing the blow-hole and we did some shopping afterwards while chomping on fresh churros. Stink was kind of scared at all the screaming they did to get you into their shops, so he left the haggling to mom. We found quiet people and decided to go into their shops. The boys got a handmade gift with their names on them. There was a purse that caught my eye... and I strayed from Vittorio until I can get to one of his shops. Until then I will be happy with my piece made by a faux Italian.

Here is Benny... writing a note to mom about how he is going to be respectful at the next nights dinner. It's difficult for kids to jump from wild ship to fancy dinner, but we couldn't leave out the fancy dinners so we had to make some minor adjustments to behavior for this. My cupcakes were excited to dress up for our evenings... my handsome little men. They looked sweeter than the desserts that were served. Sergeant Stink and I danced at dinner... just like we do at home sometimes together. We were thanked by a stranger for our show the next day. The food was delicious and always available... made me glad I continued with my running obsession on deck 12.

The ship had so much for the kids and I to do. I decided to spend and afternoon with each son of mine, individually. Benny and I played golf, shuffleboard, ping-pong, and his favorite of going down the water slide. We had a special lunch together and didn't talk about our concerns... just had pure fun. Stink got gypped out of his afternoon because he caught a Mexican flu-bug. I thought he was getting motion sickness until he spiked a fever and had complaints of a headache. I was just glad that this happened on the last day so my love could enjoy some of his trip. It didn't stop him from the hot tub, so that's where he plopped. It did halt our afternoon with just each other though, so we re-scheduled our date together for when he is feeling better. His brother got a little more time with mom, but this has been a harder year for him. He needed it. His love language is quality time and he for sure got his love-tank filled by mom this trip. It all worked out just the way it was supposed to.

Benny discovered room service. I was snuggling my sick one when he asked if he could order. Of course I said yes and I kept one ear nestled with Stink, and the other listening to this event. I hear him ask over the phone, "What is the dessert for the day? Oh, cheesecake, that sounds good... can I have two pieces? Oh wait, I also want a chocolate cake and some cookies with milk. 3 milks." Just as I was about to fall asleep with the Sergeant I look over my shoulder to find Benny with a tray full of sweets on the floor. He's in his underwear, holding his fork with a piece of chocolate cake watching Phineas and Ferb. It was heaven on ship for him. The boys also learned a little bit about tipping this trip as well. I kind of missed the room service guy (sorry) but the boys enjoyed tipping our steward Some-Butt for the animals made out of towels and the chocolates left on our beds after dinner. Some-Butt told me I looked so pretty as we headed out for dinner one night. Stink told me the same thing before, after I put my dress on. The sun-kissed glow and scarlet lips got Some-Butt a nicer tip for being such a gentlemen. Benny ran out of the room with the tip and I hear him say, "Hey Some-Butt, thank you for the towels and thank you for telling my mom she is beautiful."

I also spent some time with Judy... A massage therapist who made me feel like my back was made out of large bubble wrap. Thank you for fixing that. I also fed my head with the dry, dirty humor I need once in a while. Chelsea Handler is a fabulous author who gave me lots of laughs as I layed out and got my fix.

We were crazy about the ice cream cones on the ship... one of the best that kept us coming back. So we left on our last day at 10:30am, going out eating morning ice cream cones.

We were sad to leave, but always glad to come home where our heart is. I must have gotten the question more than a couple of times on the ship, "Is it just you and your boys here?" Yes. The only person I could see that truly figured out my response was another single mother who was older than I that I met at dinner. She took a trip with her two boys... only they were about grown. If I had a choice of who to take on a vacation it would of course first be the little loves of my life... they are so important to me and spending time with them is what matters most and makes me happy. I could be anywhere in the world with them and love it, so would they... but on a ship and away from it all was the perfect ending to our summer break. I love you two pickles... wink, wink ;)

Eucalyptus Wreath Lovers

I found a surprise this morning!

Someone is going to have babies... I'm so excited :)

Bye-Bye Banner, Hello Blue

I have had my last day working for Banner. This has been a place where I have worked for over 5 years. But more important than those years are the things that I have learned in those years. I was raised in my career there... from the bottom to the top and young to the old. I started as a Nurse Assistant and left with a taste of being a Charge Nurse. As an NA I began with the babies- in the nursery helping with feedings, newborn testing and circumcisions. I loved it. There is something so candid about babies, unlike any other thing in this world. As an RN I'm exiting the hospital on a unit where our clientele is old, old, old. Plenty of co-morbidities that make for fantastic learning, and lots of authenticity that make for good soul shaping. The old is unique, full of knowledge and wisdom I like to suck up sitting at their bedside with them. There's too much going on in the world today to make people like these anymore. I'm going to miss those old, sweet people that wonder why you rush, that used to use ice boxes and wash their own clothes by hand, really-really cook, and don't know how to use the computer or cell phone very well. People that stay married for 60 plus years. My sweet old men and spunky old women... even those confused ones. Love them. Now I am and will be at places with the in-between. I will still get some of the old for sure, thankfully... they will be good for touching up my soul. Did I mention that I absolutely love being a Nurse? I hope you can tell... I really do. What's really bizarre is I have always wanted to work for a Plastic Surgeon when I was younger, and I went into Nursing wanting to be a Perioperative Nurse. Someone has planted this seed in me long, long ago and its blossoming by destiny.

I was offered a fabulous job where a Nurse was needed and I don't know how I fell into it... I will be working for 4 Vascular Surgeons who hold a great reputation in addition to my talented Plastic Surgeon. I feel very blessed to be the one chosen for this. I am going from hospital to office. Mom's going Monday through Friday, normal hours... weekends off! The boys and I will finally have consistency. I will never have to miss another game/tournament or diss the Sunday paper because of work. I'm off to the new. I'm starting to fall for the blue. It's kind of hectic with all the multi-tasking, risk and sterility that goes on... but there's a calming peace I feel about the whole thing that I'm drawn to. Plus... I think surgeons are some of the most brilliant people. They awe me and I really respect them... except when they whistle. I love watching them and their work. I am glad, and thankful to be where I am. This is where I'm supposed to be.

I will miss where I'm coming from, and all of the special people I worked with. I am coming from a unit full of strong nurses and great staff that have taught me nothing but the best, thank you-thank you.

I will also miss the signs that people put up without fully paying attention to them.

I will miss the chuckle I get when I wonder who is using the criticaid and baby wipes that sit in the staff bathroom.

I will also miss the salmon in the cafeteria that was oddly delicious.

What I won't miss is the number game... and yay, I don't have to retire with an anxiety disorder.

I am excited for this new journey, so excited! I need to finish my post and put myself to bed for my first day of training tomorrow though... so I will make it snappy with a few more things. I heard someone say once that there is one thing that is certain in life and that is change. Change is good. Since it's always going to be there you better roll with it and embrace it. Explore the doors that open and come your way... you never know why your put there and where it may lead to. I am truly thankful for every bit of Banner... and excited to roll with the blue... Good-night!

~

PS- Here's a card I found my very last day with a great message on it. I wrote a love note in it to my old staff and got a beautiful handmade butterfly bookmark from the gift shop... just to remember you all.

Time to See the Great

The Grim Reaper was lingering around here a little while back. He hit us with two whammies. We are doing much better now.

My loyal Miniature Shnauzer went past her time, it was time. It was time long ago and it was me that held on grasping at little reasons why she's got more time. It's hard, harder than I really thought. I help people with making that decision in the hospital with their dear human loved ones. Here I was... couldn't listen to my own ethical teachings, even about a dog. I didn't realize what I was doing until I heard the 4th shpeel from someone about putting her down. It's hard to listen when you have that bond, we adored each other. You want to hang on and savor everything you can. She wasn't my girl I knew anymore though. She smelled, that old rotten smell... even after sharing my personal expensive Kenra washes with her. She was blind. Her hearing was about gone. She just layed around and barely ate. I even think she aspirated during a bath. I think I got every inch. I was dipping into replacing those good old years we had together with these... you shouldn't do that, danger zone. I had a false code I guess I will tell you about. I came home after work one day without her greeting me. She can't hear but can usually feel the vibration of the door slamming shut. My death-dar was a bit sensitive as she had a poor appetite and vomited recently. I went in my room to find her in her spot by my bed. I called her name- really, really loud because I didn't see any rise and fall of her doggy chest. She didn't move. I touched her and she still didn't move. I dropped my things and ran out of my room bawling, saying I'm not ready for this. I sat at my island with my tears hitting the counter. I didn't know what I was going to do and I couldn't stand the thought of picking up her dead body. No one answered their phone. I went back into my room after the failed calls, still crying, to take another look at her. She raised her head. My dramatic scene was all for nothing but knowing it's now time. Benny knew it was her time too. I found this in his backpack along with a note of how he loves my nachos I don't ever remember making him. I love you Ten-Ten.

Let me interpret this Benny-ese.

My dog is blind. And she is lazy. And she is nice. My dog is fury. And she has a black nose.

My girlfriend offered to help her to the other side. We gave her her favorite dinner the night before, the boys made it... with love and tears. We all sat together in the living room before bed, in a love nest the boys had made on the floor. They kissed her stinky head. We prayed and asked Jesus that when he takes her from us if he could please play with her and let her run again and see. Sergeant stink got patchy. He gets these red blotches when he's really upset trying to hold it in. We lost a very dear member of our family the next day, but Heaven gained a gem to play with. As if this couldn't get any harder we get another whammy.

I heard a gasping, forced whale down the hall coming from my Sergeant. In that split second I thought the next thing I was going to see was a gusher for sure needing medical attention... we are about due for one of those actually. He ran to me, not even looking at me and just grabbed and clenched on to me. I held him and felt his deep gasping continuing as he cries, "My fish is dead mom, he's floating. I don't know what happened." All I could say in that moment to my little man who rarely cries is how sorry I was. It didn't help, not much could. This was his very first pet that was solely his and something only he took care of, very good care of. He loved that Betta. Benny was a bit teary eyed as well, I think that was from seeing his big brother so hurt. We have never seen him like this. We all hugged. I took Betta out and put him in a gift card tin so Stink could see him for closure. It was a Betta viewing. S. Stink took his finger to touch him and rubbed part of the scales off. That made his sobbing escalate for a second- icky, bad idea, sorry honey. He got his closure, I saw him briefly grief for the very first time. He told his friends about it very openly at the Science Center and that's when I knew he was doing a bit better. He got a new Betta... a fancy crown tailed Betta. He had expectations of the old fish displaced onto the new. Maybe it was too soon. I coached him along though, telling him to give the new fish a little time. We all need time in a new place. Sure enough with a little time and patience the new Betta was swimming in and out of his toy and fanning his tail when Stink came to the tank.

Death can be a beautiful thing... We got to experience that in our very own home with Pursie. I'm glad I finally got it before it was too late, and we were able to spend the last night together as a family... getting that dignified ending in her life she deserved. She was the best dog, loyal through all of our family's experiences. We will miss you sweet girl, kisses.