Step into her shoes and walk the life she's living and if you get as far as she, just maybe you will see how strong she really is. Faith is first, her family is her everything and her story is her unique own.

This is a place where the love and stories of our family are shared. We hope you enjoy, and visit again soon...

"A little party never hurt no one... thats why its alright." -Art Deco


Sunday, July 24, 2016

Our Summer Pace, Our Summer Fun

It was magnificent. Simple. Joyful. Peaceful.

Our most favorite Summer Break yet!

Not anything extravagant but extravagant to us. Spending quality time with one another without those several schedule breaks or obligations that the school year brings in mighty force. To just... be. Soaking up the sunshine, deep into our souls and hopefully not on our skin. Proper sunscreening sure does have a method to it and my boys were taught very well. Given that we were set to be as free as our lovely pace let us. Most good times were spent quietly at home and then some loudly with good friendships. Of course mostly in the water... our preferred summer atmosphere.

We did spend a glorious day up north in Flagstaff exploring with my explorers. Flagstaff Extreme Adventure Course caught our attention. It was an amazing obstacle course with quite a few rounds of physical obstacles from woodsy tree to tree. The intensity and height increased as it went on. Benny made it about halfway and decided he wanted to watch us try and finish the rest. His hands were shaking and his body was done.

My Sergeant made it look easy and I went behind him thinking maybe it would be. The harness was what made me feel safe. I knew as long as I was strapped and locked in, the worst that could happen was I could fall and then just get back up. Kind of like life right? I didn't fall though and made it to the black course. I only saw one other girl finish it besides myself. We were all so proud of our accomplishments, teamwork and encouragement as a family. 

We took a beautiful trip to Austin Texas visiting our best friends who we have missed very dearly. It wasn't quite a year yet that they made the big move to Austin from Arizona and we thought it would be such a wonderful way to spend part of our summer seeing them. We lived their lake life with them for one precious week. My dear best friend is about the biggest planner as I. The only thing we planned together was a wonderful family trip to a water park resort with all of us nestled in a cozy cabin resort home playing by day and cherishing our time together by night and over some morning mimosas. 


Hiking, swimming, fishing, boating, was all blissful but what made it so wonderful was our company we shared. It was very hard to leave. 



I came home to sick dogs, being sick myself and my car not starting. That was enough to make me wish I had stayed but it all worked out, as it always does. I surprised my dearest best friend with a sneaky trip back to Austin with adults only this time to celebrate her first Texan birthday. I have never had a Russian dinner and never realized how much Russians enjoyed their vodka. The lavender shot was quite possibly the best Birthday shot I've ever tasted. 
The spa met party in my mouth. Our feet took us down the famous 6th Street then ended at our favorites with my favorite on Rainey Street. 

Austin was definitely our summer highlight, however the rest of our time has been so wonderful as well that the boys have been counting the days they have to return to school. Benny turned 12 this summer and had a cabana pool party with his friends he calls "The Squad" and our Grandmas. He dove into his first boy/girl party. 


Back to school shopping had to be tackled in two trips for my dear Benny. We said a forever goodbye to school uniforms and hello to a new wardrobe of whatever their styles are. The Sergeant still spent twice as much on clothes however with his expensive and particular tastes. That boy made sure he earned that and a trendy haircut with all of his summer chores. Both of my men are packed and ready to walk into Junior High together tomorrow. In reflection I can't believe how fast this time has come and that their Elementary Days are over with. I have love-love-loved their days of infancy, being toddlers and school aged. I know I will love this era just the same. Our summers, our time is always captured in my heart as precious gifted moments from God I am forever grateful for. 

Thank you dear Summer... you have treated us quite well...

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Just Be

This girl has been working on some things... the art of just being. It's one of the hardest most healthiest things you can do for yourself. Taking time in your every moment to realize every moment. To slow down. It takes practice... probably years and decades I truly believe. So here I will be... continuing to work on this because I still have a ways to go. This thing I try to share through my presence with those around me and my children especially. 

You don't need a voice in every silent moment.

You don't need a TV or song filling the room.

You don't need a schedule of events every day.

Your phone can be the devil in square form.

Being a minimalist is beautiful to me. Physically and internally it creates a gorgeous peace that is completely unfocused on materialistic world views. I find myself gravitating to this more and more each year. The big house and corporate dominance can lead to a hamster wheel of American disaster. Simplicity is happiness. I sit here enjoying the moonlit evening air, writing in reflection as I breathe in the aromas of Jasmine behind me and knowing I don't have obligations but choices tomorrow. Success is not defined by social or monetary status... and I am feeling successful. I want everyone around me to feel this way. I found myself somewhere last year that needed a shift. School, work and some others were taking my precious time I get so rightfully possessive of that I had to make changes. Sometimes things are a temporary busy but you must snap back. Meetings, overtime for 'stuff' and scholarly papers don't matter at your end. It is yourself mostly and your family that is what matters in life. Make wise personal and purposeful investments. 

This school year is the last that my boys are separated and scattered at different schools and sports which I am bittersweetly thankful for. The taste of summer pace is on the tip of my tongue. I asked the boys what we are doing this summer besides going to Texas. They said, "I don't know mom". I said, "Nothing, we are going to practice the art of being." They got really quiet and I'm sure were thinking how boring this may be. Then I put a song on and had them close their eyes as we were driving to church and had one so completely relaxed and removed from the 'busy-ness' around us that Benny said he fell asleep for a second. I could see my Sergeant's eyelids dancing around so we have some work to do. I won't let the standard forced pace around us control myself or my children... it is time to Just Be.

Love/Peace/Everlasting Happiness,
Zen Jenn



Sunday, January 31, 2016

Changy Time Again

I didn't know if I could do it this year. It seemed like way too much work, the PF Changs half marathon I told myself I was going to do again last year. After my near death experience in November being sick I felt like my body was rebuilding itself from step one. Very, very slowly. First was nutrition, then strength... but that endurance of mine was lost and hard to find again. It's that thing you get that when your there you just need to keep yourself there. I was knocked down and really wasn't going to get back up to do the half marathon. 13 miles had never been more intimidating and lengthy sounding. I felt really good one day and I decided on my birthday that in the next few weeks I am pushing myself to my very limits and getting my dear endurance back. How dare it ever be stolen from me. So on my birthday out and about getting fancy tea, spending time with family and TopGolf, the boys picked out some new running shoes for me. I came home and tested them out and signed up after that. I was determined. 

Those new shoes and my new endurance took me to that race. I ran that race better than last years actually. 1:53

Never Give Up.




You might even get delicious pizza, wine and good friendship after too!!


Hello 2016

Each year is full of those rough patches and the glorious highlights. For when a new year comes before us we re-cap on them, looking back on what made the year unique. For some there are regrets, others hopes that were filled and goals that were accomplished. Each year is a new opportunity to improve yourself for you and those around you. Those darn resolutions. Those resolutions that everyone remembers in the beginning of the year but slowly, yes they fade. Those resolutions that should continually be made throughout the year, instead of once a year after some annual reflection. 

For myself, I hold no regrets but find great beauty in any type of twist in my story. I learn from whatever it may be and grow stronger because of it. It is a choice. Our year was full of some of those rough patches and glorious moments just as everyone else's. We had a deeply sad time this year with losing my Dad that I won't ever forget. We had some amazing things happen as well. So many I can't count. We are Blessed. Blessed that each year and situation that comes and goes, we are molded into the people and family that God has intended us to be. At the start of this year I must say that when overlooking it all, we are at such a sweet place in our journey. I feel like this more with every year that comes our way but this year there is a different peace, a quiet still that I haven't ever experienced as a single mother. I am a peace craver, a peace keeper and I lust after my peace so I am indulgent in this. I don't know where its coming from... if it is prayer, my job, my children or just me getting older but whatever it is, I'm smiling at it. 

The boys and I hired DK again for family pictures... my Christmas present to me. These memories are precious to my soul. It's a great way to welcome this year and celebrate where we are...

My baby, Benny. My handsome Benny who can always make me laugh... or stress me out. 





Then there is the man of the house, my Sergeant. My respectful Sergeant who always looks out for me with those protecting, loving eyes of his. 







Then us... our cherished family, all together...


Each year gets better and better and I can't wait to see what is in store for us on our journey. 
This is our year. 
Happy 2016!!

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Jolly Saint Nicholas'

This is the first year the boys know the truth about Christmas. Or last years could have been and I was just made aware this year. At Easter the boys confessed. They found 2014 Christmas presents under my bed. Then the confession continued... as they told me they searched for stocking stuffers and found them in the closet and then a game system under my bedside table. This all took place at the dinner table when we discussed the focus and real meaning of Easter and it wasn't about an Easter bunny. 

So this year we focused on what Christmas is about. Family and giving to others. The boys made a list. This wasn't their typical one. This list had the names of others they would like to give to. I shared with them that I give our yearly story to others in cards, bake, host, make and purchase presents... for others. Spending precious time with cherished friends and family to make new memories and have laughs about old ones is also a gift of Christmas. 

I woke up, very early on Christmas morning as I always do. This was even after working multiple 12-13 hour back to back shifts. The excitement is that real. It was even still dark out. I awoke and started celebrating this birth of Jesus day. I put the music on and steeped fresh herbal leaves of Earl Grey in a steaming cup for the perfect tea as my babes lay fast asleep. I cooked gingerbread pancakes. The aroma and kitchen clatter woke my Sergeant, then Benny to quickly follow. They begged.... begged to open up gifts before Great Grandma and Grandpa came. We decided on opening up our family gifts together on this quiet Christmas morning first... including the stockings. Grandma Shari took the boys Christmas shopping to carry out their lists of giving. They were just as excited to see me open their gift to me as I was to see them open theirs. It wasn't much this year but like always, quality trumps quantity... the intangible included.  My jolly ole Saint Nicholas' filled my stocking with sweet, meaningful words. I thought maybe it could be another maltese in there but it was the best Christmas Card I have gotten yet. 
It reminded me that they are true boys/men... cramming in all the holidays they can to simplify. It made my heart so happy. What was next to best was the beautiful, fancy fragrance they knew I loved and wrapped up for mom. They always make me feel like a Queen, their Queen. 

Queenie got some goodies for her little Christmas Princes. This years big gift was a hoverboard for Stink and a Drone for Benny. The Sergeant picked up this balance thing on his board super quick. I had him learn in the house until he bumped into a wall. Benny flew his drone into a backyard so we decided the open park was the best place for practice. But first tea-time with Grandma and collegial gifts from Grandpa followed by a Christmas ham dinner was had. 


The Sergeant took an awful spill on the way to the park. It was a hoverboard fail. One that would have landed us in the ER on Christmas with a head injury if his helmet wasn't worn. Love my helmet rule and my precious, safe children. When he recovered the boys took it to the grass and perfected their skills as I pranced around with them smelling good. 

Our pooches got a great Christmas as well. They each had a spa day being pampered and fluffed to their softest. Ruby got a Christmas dress and ponytail. She wouldn't keep her pony in longer than 10 seconds. Crimson got a new bed and Scarlet a bone. The bone that the other two envied. One would steal it while the other two were fighting over it... a strategic plan that went on throughout the day. This gifted Christmas day. 
We ended it with my third son coming over who was here from Texas and spent the night with the boys. Mom had a cozy evening watching Christmas movies snuggling with her festive pooches. It was a little quiet this year and I felt the void of my Dad. I missed him but know he was looking over us having a beautiful Christmas remembering him in our hearts. 

It was another unforgettable Christmas at the Carlson home, our new Carlson home!! Our intangible Christmas gift...


Love.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

A Teeny Big B-Day

Thirteen years ago I woke up and knew this was the day. The day I was going to be a parent. Every first time parent has some idea of what this parent-hood thing may be like, but you truly don't know until it happens to you. It is nothing but selfless love, the greatest that I have yet to know. A perfect body and soul in an imperfect world handed over to you to shape, shelter and nurture.  It's a big job... the most precious of jobs. Not always the easiest. So you grow it with the greatest love and attention you can. 

Sergeant Stink turned 13 today. It may sound a bit cliche but this time thing really goes by so fast. I found the most suiting card for my dear boy... and it looks like his brother did as well. 











We planned a fun filled day full of activities and friends. Being the quality time hoard I am, I told my Sergeant I really wanted a little something for just him and I in the morning. We decided to go on a Birthday run. On our run we spotted some horses and I pulled him to go look at them. A man came over to us and asked if we would like to feed them and of course we did. This wonderful neighbor came out and let my Birthday boy ride on her sweet horse, Jet. Jet was dark, gentle and quiet with healing eyes. After feeding him his tangelos my boy got to bare back ride on Jet. We brushed his body and rubbed his face as we looked at those healing eyes of his. It was an unforgettable birthday start. 

Then I was reminded at the end of our run that today I have a teenager and I set a new rule after a slug bug. You see, the slug bug game is fun when your children are little. As they get older the punch gets a bit stronger and it hurts. Today's sighting will leave a shoulder bruise so I kindly reminded my Sergeant that this game is no longer played with girls... especially Mom. We instead took our games to the racing track. Stink go-karted with his buddies then we were off to Krampus at the theaters. We took our party back to Seville where neighbors, snow-play, pasta and oreo ice cream cake awaited. 



It was a treat because the Sergeant's dear friend was in town and his mom just happens to be a dear friend of mine as well. Her mother creates a cookie decorating event each year for her kids and grandkids. It was so kind to be included in this special time on this special day. 

It reminds me that family and quality time with important moments who support you in life matter. You live life as though everything is a miracle, because it truly is. I am grateful everyday for my motherhood, my dear children and all of those sweet people who made this important day special for my loving son. Goodbye slug-bugs, hello teenage years! We welcomed you well today.




Sunday, November 29, 2015

Column of Thanks

I must end the traditional Thanksgiving weekend with my traditional column of thanks, of course! It was a simple holiday for us as we have been battling a tossed around bacterial respiratory bug in our household. It manifested as pneumonia and bronchitis with everlasting fevers, night sweats, weight loss, so much fatigue, body and bone aches, the terrible coughing and multiple rounds of antibiotics through hospital and doctors visits, which has effected quite everything. Mycoplasma pneumoniae, you suck. Longest me and my baby have ever been down. As a mother, I would risk, all over again getting terribly ill to take care of my dear boy who needs his mother the most when he is sick. I was bound to catch something with the motherly nurse care I gave to him... but guess who reciprocated that when I couldn't? My dear boys... I don't know what I would do without them. My home, pooches and everyday business that a mother does to keep her home and schedules running smoothly has been a wreck and slowly getting caught up as I get better everyday. But those babies of mine are a huge help, and helped with what they could. Even snuggles... which are oh so important!


So here it goes in no particular order but the first shall be:
Health
Antibiotics
Doctors
Nurses
Surgeons... especially mine
My Faith
Employment
Ventilators
Medicine
Science
Evidence based practice
My patients... who teach me everyday
Being Humble
New Homes
Fab Realtors
Fab Mortgage Peeps
Children
My Maltie Baby
My Pooches
My Glam Girlfriends
Guy Friends too
Dancing
Boots
Red Lipstick
Pale Polish
Smooth Skin
Long Locks
Heels
Dresses
A Stove to cook on
An oven to bake
Sparkly Kitchens
Seasonal Decor
A Good Song
Coldplay
The peaks... and the valleys
The smell of orange blossoms
Pie
Loose leaf tea
Natural Remedies
Organic goodness
Bubble Baths
Good Lotion
Massages
Vino
Champs
A good time
Soldiers
Officers
Justice
My Country
A good speech
Quotes
A good laugh
A serious chick ;)
That fabulous morning adrenaline
External Beauty
Internal Beauty
Sunrise
Sunset
Lights
Cozy Christmas Trees
Movies
A good sweat
Swimming, oh I love it
Bikinis
Family, Family, Family
Home, and all the moments and memories it possesses 
Grandparents
Vacations
Books
Writing
Mavis Beacon and her lessons
Truth
Dads
Personal Angels
Beginnings
Endings
Everything in Between

Because... I am overly blessed. Today. Everyday. May I be reminded as I sit in terrible traffic that I have a wonderful job to drive to in a car that keeps me warm in winter months and cool in hot ones... even with music that bless my ears with amazing talent as I drive. That when I am frantic driving around from work to sports and juggling homework and the in between that my children are healthy, have the privilege to play sports and I have loving friends and fortunate jobs with the mind and will to coordinate it all. That my sweet Jesus looks out for me and my family today, everyday, and in every moment. 

I am thankful for you... because you are special and gorgeous. Made unique with a purpose, just as I.

This Thanksgiving I spent the day before with some of my favorite people (Gram, Gramps and boys) at my neighborly clubhouse at a beautiful dinner next to a cozy fireplace with so much love my heart could explode. As if that wasn't enough my cherished family of 3 people and 3 pooches spent the day loving on each other eating healthy delicious food watching football having quiet family moments in our new home together. I even took a nap. My goodness... nothing extravagant but oh so beautiful. 

We ran a 5K turkey trot... totally not my best but my Sergeant got first place. Football at the park with a bunch of 30ish boys. The babies set the table. Turkey, veggies, stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls and organic pear cider filled our bellies with moms sweet apple pie to follow. I love to cook and cook to love. It is a special time to love and to give thanks... for all that we have and all that we do. We... are blessed. Blessed!


Happy Thanksgiving.... xoxo