Writer's Corner is Created

Thanks to a hot and determined amazon search, my counter top has been regraced with the presence of the crystal Oleg Cassini ring holder: 

The same one that was sadly chucked to it's pieced death a mere few months ago in our very kitchen. That and our school mornings have since held together strong and flowed smoothly. 

To it's very left was a corner of the house I have eyed and slowly stewed of what to do with since we have moved in to our new place. I wanted it to be something special. Until I figured it out, the occupants contained of our piano that doesn't ever get played and a rocking chair that doesn't ever get used. The boys refuse to let me part with the very chair I rocked and consoled them in as babies... so that was moved to a more permanent location. Once that was done, the corner was looking quite pathetic and bare. It needed to be jazzed up with a bold purpose behind it. The purpose of something I enjoy doing next to my kitchen I love cooking in. I decided to make a writer's corner. 

A place in my new one where I can get into that focused zone as I let the stories of my heart and soul flow as they please to do so. The seating had to be just right and bright, with options of course. Storage for inspiration and various lighting were just as important. Drizzled with pictures of those I love from times so precious. I did it in one Saturday. I woke up, knew what I wanted to do with it... and I did it. I created that cozy writer's corner I was after, that my home and I needed. It's perfectly placed where I can catch my seasonal orange blossomed breeze as I write. Where many more stories of my journey shall continue to be shared. xoxo

Ruby Coconut

The boys and I used to see pictures of cute white fluffy Maltese dogs and always dreamt of having one. The ones that look so darn cute they look fake. As I look at our new baby, I can't believe we have one so precious of our own. Her eyes are the admired brown I love to see in eyes. She has hair, not fur that is as pure and soft as her sweet soul. Ruby's ears are slightly off white, like toasted coconut. This is how she got her middle name... my Ruby Coconut:

She's always so happy, full of life and wonder. She reminds me of a toddler and recently I have had quite the adventure down her curiosity lane. She gets naughty in corners. She was outside playing in a dark one for an extended length and I wanted to see what she was up to and who or what she might be playing with. She was caught teasing a scorpion until I got a hold of it. Then, she was the hunted one on a hot summer day. I had that feeling, the one you get like your being watched and I looked up and sure enough my Ruby Coconut who was frolicking around in the backyard had captured the attention of a circling hawk. As if hawks and scorpions weren't enough lessons for the both of us she tried swimming. I had just gotten in the pool and closed my eyes as I was floating about and heard a tiny something. Thank my dear Lord I turned around to see what that was and I found my little cotton ball trying to keep her head above water until I came to her rescue. She had no second thoughts about jumping. She just saw me get in and knew what she was after. I love her courage. She was maybe 4 pounds wet sitting at the side of the pool, plotting her next conquer. 

Since, my little Maltie Baby has mastered swimming quite the distance for her little legs, with a new respect for large bodies of water. She loves the water. It makes her crazy happy to have a touch of it on her fur and she acts as if it's liquid lighting on her, flying around when she wears it. 

Ruby Coconut is my little side kick... she loves the boys but she follows me around absolutely everywhere I go and gets excited for a good car ride. She has a spot near my shoulder where she likes to rest her head. She's an ear and face licker who isn't shy about her affection at all. She doesn't settle well yet unless she's in her house, she likes to be busy. She loves cooking with me... my little vegan pooch. I haven't found much she doesn't like, she's certainly a foodie. She loves fruit, veggies, herbs (even ginger) and of course coconut anything. I've never had to ask a vet for a list of foods a dog needs to stay away from until I had her, because she will try it all. She listens well... hates baths and brushings but endures them. 

She likes naps with her Maltie Mama who will of course get her own post when its time.  Its the sweetest sight when I spot them snoozing together. Scarlet cleans Ruby's face and eyes every day for her like another good mom of hers. 

Coconut snuggles the sick. I found this out when the boys were resting their back to school bugs away. I believe she was created for our family. She's a perfect fit for us and adds so much love and personality to our home. Just another large ounce of love that makes our house a home. I'm blessed to have all 3 pooches and this 3 pounds of risky pooch... my Ruby Coconut! 

Particularly Back to School... With a Shatter

The summer break came and went like a quick swim. No summer fun box... the boys grew out of that. We grew a little closer into our new community and home instead. It was our last summer with our best friends and we were fortunate enough to live around the corner from them, visiting at our leisure, joined in a summer soccer league and played at the country club with them on quiet weekend days. I brought some thrilling afternoon Mavis Beacon lessons back. Benny turned 11. We enjoyed our blessed summer pace, as always.

Then it was time. Time to head back to school. My Sergeant doesn't have to wear uniforms anymore! This brought on a shopping trip... the trip where I found out just how particular my mini he-me is. He's always had a pricey taste... and I can't deny his big brown deserving eyes that bat my way, so instead I drizzled him in his particularly expensive taste. Benny isn't there yet, I don't know if he ever will be with his simplicity. His shopping trip took 1/8 of what the Sergeant's did. Navy shirts and some fun socks were his simple requests. Done and done... with love until it came to school supplies and then I was about done shopping with Mr. Particular myself. The school supplies were dwindled and the aisles were too crowded for a cart during an off-hour at the store as my Sergeant pleaded why a certain accordion folder was needed. That was when I realized it was time to come home. 

When we came home the boys washed and folded their clothes, labeled and organized for their new school year. The first day was fabulous. I greeted that day with a sweet morning wake-up kiss and the smell of cooked breakfast. 
The Sergeant was about 5 minutes late his first day of Jr. High. The flow of traffic to the newly built school was in a disarray (it has since gotten better). So I told him that he clearly wasn't going to be the only one, and the perk is that always in the movies and shows the kid who shows up late the first day of school is always the hot commodity. This didn't really phase him, I think the first day nerves were over powering any comprehension. I surprisingly did better than I thought watching him walk up to the doors of High School Days. He was confident, prepared, happy and excited. His independence only made me smile and reflect some good mothering skills. 

Benny is now at the top of his Elementary School times... tackling the 6th grade with his familiar friends and amazing teachers. He trotted away wearing his favorite socks from Tilly's happy to reunite with friends at recess and sit right next to one of them in his new class. 

This mom couldn't wait to get home, deep clean from the wrath of summer and plan some much needed and near futured girl days. This year has distinctly been an adjustment for me. I took off some time from work to really get used to the first few weeks. I now have the boys in two different schools and we aren't around the convenient corner anymore. I know I just have to power through this last year to have my babes at the same school again. Between shuffling kids to school, sports and making sure their nutrition and sleep don't suffer, it's quite the juggling talent to nail. We had one morning straight from the pit of hell. 

Over the years, we as a family have identified a few tasks that need to be done the day before or it sets us behind and could potentially make us late for school. Those are lunch boxes and water bottles. They are challenging to find if we have even remembered them on top of filling them. Sometimes the boys slack and at other times it is just hard for them to remember with everything they have going on. Getting back into the swing of things, they had forgotten one morning. The Sergeant rushed out of the door for his bus and forgot his 1st hour project supplies that were due. Knowing that I needed to get this to him in the next 10 minutes by driving up to his school I realized Benny's lunch box and water bottle were M-I-A. It was found as I was tossing together a breakfast and trying to get out the door. I plopped some lunch in it and tossed it over the counter to him. At the same time my cherished crystal ring and bracelet holder caught the lunch bag and it went flying across the room, shattering all over the floor just missing Benny. As I stood there still in my bed time clothes and hadn't gotten a chance to even look in the mirror yet and instead, I sadly watched my ring holder lay in pieces, just as our morning had turned to shattered pieces. Then the dogs flew in and I had to hurry them away, clean up the mess and run my mess out of the door to the Sergeant. I collected that morning, pieced it back together and we all learned and snapped back into our swing of things following an after school family meeting I held. 

Since... we have had settled, smooth sailing starts without things flying across the room in the morning. I am on the hunt for a new holder... now that we have narrowed down our back to school routine and it is cleared safe. Let the school year begin!!

New Home, New Babies

Never settle. Life is too short to ever have something second best... so when you have found what you are looking for, you must go for it if its right. It was frustrating... a long six-ish months of house hunting. I had an idea of what I wanted, but nothing really ever seemed right all of the homes I toured. I still had faith that even though things weren't working out and when I wanted them to, that I wasn't going to take the next best thing... I wanted my best thing. So I patiently and impatiently at times waited. It was on a snow trip up north checking my late emails one morning and without enthusiasm opened up another monotonous house listing I knew I probably wouldn't like anyway. My first thoughts were that it wasn't in the area I wanted and it was very different. However, the more I read about the listing the more excited I had become and I couldn't wait to get home and view this property. I loved the first look and it just got better from there. It was small, yet classy, modern, open and just my cozy style. A perfect place for my boys veered off to our right. Then I walked into the kitchen where I knew it was mine. It was gorgeous and filled with sparkles all over from the quartz countertops to the backsplash. I can see the pool and mountains a short distance from there and the backyard was a perfect start and held a flight of possibilities for me to personalize to make it my very own. It has unique black river rocks around checkered concrete that symbolize peace and spiritual roundness in one's life. I felt like this wonderful place was made for me and more perfect than what I ever thought I wanted. I knew this was it and I cannot express how blessed I feel to be in it. 

Before I got into the home, I therapeutically painted and created spaces for my dear boys. Benny wanted a Packers room and my Sergeant a Texans one of course with his inspirational athlete, JJ Watt. They picked out their colors and fat head decals... I designed and surprised them!

I was excited to splash some bright colors to our family area looking from the kitchen. I sewed teal and coral red accent curtains and pillows to go with the white sectional and dark cabinetry for a pop and reminder of a cherished color. 

I enjoy being outside in the backyard grilling and when I have quiet afternoons or nights, relaxing in and by the pool. I found the most suiting furniture for us and our space for our lifestyle. The boys want turf... I want a few orange trees to smell their fragrant blossoms when the windows are open. I tell them Rome wasn't built in a day just as my Grandpa had told me... and know that in time there will be more to come as we have everything and more than we need now. However... we had a few new additions to our family and new home. 

Meet Ruby. 

My new neighbors had her and they knew that I have always wanted a snowy white Maltese.  So when theirs had a baby, she was ours!! Of course she came to us in a red bow! Ruby is the most pure love and life I have ever seen in 2.5 pounds and resembles a bunny or cotton ball. The boys adore her. I just can't get enough of her and love her so much. My neighbors are moving and they were looking for a place for Ruby's mom and asked if I would take her as well. I had a hard time of the thought at having 3 dogs... but didn't have the heart to split up mom and baby. 

Meet Crimson!

Crimson has some habits and manners we are working on but she is getting better with every week.  The Sergeant has already taught her commands! It has to be hard to leave your family that you love and move into a new home with a new dog and family. I am trying to understand and we love her very much. She is so happy to be with her baby, Ruby and I am happy they can spend their life together. They are both snuggle-pooches who like car rides so they fit right in with us and our Scarlet.

I must end that I am relieved I didn't settle, because I truly did get my best thing... not only that but more authentic love than I could have ever imagined in it. I feel overly blessed. Happy. Accomplished. So thankful for everything and every person and pooch.

Dad, I Love You

Just like today's intermittent rain and beautiful aromas filling up my soul, I always feel your presence around me when you visit. I knew at a point some of life's pleasures that you indulged in would require medicinal attention. I didn't think it would be this soon. She called me right away. When I got the call from your beloved I could hear the terror in her voice telling me it's your dad, something really bad has happened. I dropped everything that I was doing and my un-makeuped face and children who were ready for bed were loaded in the car and on our way, as she explained the events about your heart. You were on your way to the cath-lab... I thought maybe you could make it. I called Grandma and Grandpa and told them to come. I will never forget when I realized you weren't coming back.

A familiar cardiologist said your procedure went well, you had a major blockage in a left coronary artery of yours. When he said you didn't wake up after the procedure and questioned how long you were unconscious I knew it. It was too long Dad. The tears just rolled down my cheeks... I wanted to see you, I couldn't wait to see you. I see patients in hospital beds all of the time, but I didn't know how difficult it would be to see you the way that you were. I saw your intraosseous line and all of the vasopressors you were on just to keep you going. As a nurse I couldn't help but imagine the struggles through the events to get you here, and as a daughter it saddened my heart that you went through it. I rubbed your face and kissed your cheek as your body was cold and covered in a cooling blanket. I was so afraid to look at your eyes. I knew that would make or break any flash of hope I had of you pulling through this. When I saw them as I lifted your lids up Dad you weren't there anymore. The nurses knew it, my family didn't and I couldn't tell them that yet, only when we were all ready. I sobbed the whole way home, the kind where you have to take deep breaths to catch your air. I held your grand boys so tightly that night. 

You went the way that you always wanted to, thank you for leaving your body for the closure for family the way that you did. Your hands and feet looked the same to me in that bed you were in, like I've always remembered them. I fell asleep with you, holding your familiar hand as I was so tired one day. Read scriptures to you and sang wonderful songs around you until your last heart beat. Such beautiful ending moments. So many people love you... your service was everything you would have wanted it to be. You were such an alpha male with meticulous attention payed to everything you did. Loved movies. Loved new adventures. Stubborn. Didn't like taking pictures. Very blunt and always had a filthy mouth. I just read some letters from you with your perfect handwriting and realized you and Grandma liked to write. She even does the dot dot dots that I do... You were a giver, even gave your kidneys for other's life at the end of your own. By the way, Grandma and Grandpa are even making a scholarship in your honor. 

A picture of you and two beautiful bouquets of flowers from my surgeon and co-workers were the first things in my new house. The person that had this gorgeous home before had to give it up because of a heart attack. You would shine at the sight of this place. Our new home is drizzled in red accents, a favorite color both you and I share. I'm going to sew coordinating accent curtains this summer with a little something in your remembrance. I can tell when you are here... like when I was in the pool and thinking about you. I told you that I miss you,  that I love you so much and a big gust of wind out of nowhere came and winded my face like a kiss. You were always so proud of me and told everyone about me... painted my nails so pretty and did my hair as a child. I have always felt so prized by you. You still make me feel this way and I am blessed to know your spiritual presence if I can't have you physically here. I need you here this way in my life now and you know this. I understand it was your time.

Even though they are hard, I love your visits. I have good days and bad days but I think about you every day. Dad... I love you.

Single Mama Marathon

Well... I am officially done with BSN classes. It may not seem like much to some, but to me it was a goal that I was determined to finish no matter the circumstance. The opportunity couldn't have come at a more busy time of my life. However, when you put your mind to something you should just do it. Life's plate was quite full... too full for a BSN biscuit. I mapped my weeks, days, hours and minutes just to finish papers and homework. I would scope out child entertainment with wifi access in desperation modes.  Gave up precious hours of sleep. Cancelled appointments, completed DQs while I ate lunch at work and denied social events or fitness classes to progress through pages of research papers. I knew it was a temporary "have to" and sometimes you just have to sacrifice. 

You can only run at this pace temporarily... this was my single mother marathon. Hands down, busiest time of my life. I had to be mentally and physically focused to reach it to the end. Pacing myself carefully in this delicate balance of single mothering. Taking small intercessions and leaves of absences for necessary family demands. The world and responsibilities didn't stop around me, so grand prioritization took place to get here. My house was a bit messier, I didn't cook as much, wasn't as toned and wasn't able to spend all the time I wanted to with people. But I am here and advanced just a bit more in a profession that I dearly love... which is important to me and the patients that I serve. Now it is time to have blank page days where there is nothing on my schedule (like today). Cook creations in my beautiful new kitchen. Train for more triathlons. Date. Enjoy the small things in life that truly matter the most, reflecting upon them and writing about them in a dear place that I have missed. Until another professional thirst gets quenched, I am so happy to be back...

Just Wait

School is about done. ;) I have almost reached a mother of a single mother goal of mine... I have words just sizzling in my soul to be written... I cannot wait!! To be continued... I'm channeling my words and gifts on the keyboard towards professional development... I... am... almost... there. Loves!! xoxo... xoxo

~Nurse Nenn