Obsessive Cullen Disorder

I've got it... do you? I have all of the books, started my collection years ago. As I took my dive into this love story the first movie came out and really ruined the books for me (so I thought). I'm so busy that if there is a movie to watch instead of reading the book, I usually just watch the movie. My view is that there is better things to do if I have gotten the story somewhere once. Not in this case at all. I have decided that this series is just that very commendable that I am going to wait. My plan is to continue the reading once I have watched the whole complete story... and not reading a sentence or word more before then. Control myself from those tempting books that sit on my shelf with lots of extras... it's getting harder. But this way I can savor it all over again and because I love to read... I know it will be much more gratifying. I am that excited that I can let patience be the virtue it is.


The new movie, Breaking Dawn Part 1 just released!! I've seen it twice now. Benny and Stink are even into the whole story. We are a "Team Edward" family all the way. My Nurse girlfriends and I went to a private showing on the opening day. I made a shirt this time for the event. It came right from my favorite scene of all the movies.



The new movie was yet another, striking screenplay. I'm not telling anymore... leaving it at that. I hope that I have a great love story of my own someday to write about, because I will. I hope that I meet a protecting, loving man who adores me and my children and all that we possess. I hope that I have a beautiful pregnant belly again someday. I hope that I have someone who really adores me and the family we will create together. I hope that I will finally have true love, something that I have never known aside from my children. I hope that this isn't it, ending in fiction form for me. I hope I have so much that I could write a book about. I'm not settling for a weak chapter, or a blog post. Until then I will indulge in this great love story... the best I've heard of yet!

Thankful on Thanksgiving

The contents of the Thanksgiving decorations box didn't survive for very long around this town. It's partly due to the fact that it is pathetic and contains only a couple of things and part over-indulgence of the Christmas spirit oh so soon. I am still Thankful in my heart this day... and every day. In fact about six months or so ago the boys and I have been adding a new act at the dinner table. Before we eat we each state something we are thankful for that day. We are thankful for our Faith all the way down to coconut M&M's.

There are LOTS. This is just some. Here it goes:

-The unconditional love of my Savior, my Father, my Teacher
-My sweet dear boys
-The health of my family and I
-My girlfriends
-My boyfriends
-Gingerbread Pita Chips
-Those hard working coaches
-Gorgeous Arizona mornings, mid-days, and evenings
-The occasional overdoses of confidence I get these days
-Snuggles with my children
-My jobs
-My co-workers
-The patient's I serve
-Orange Blossoms
-Having more than enough

-Books
-My Honda
-The cozy, loving home I'm in
-The good and the bad jokes I hear
-Rhinestones
-My keyboard
-My country
-Farmer's Markets
-The wonderful school my kids attend
-Teachers
-Tough work-outs
-High heels
-Candles
-Great moments
-Not so great moments
-My neighbors
-You

I'm also thankful for the choice I have made to live life with no regrets. I am thankful for the people from my past, in my present and to come in the future. There is a reason for it all. Sometimes the times aren't so pleasant and it can be a scary world to say the very least. But it's a beautiful life, full of wonderful and amazing things right at our fingertips. The great moments bring many joyous gifts and the not so great moments bring many lessons for growth. I want it all... no returns please.

**Also a big thanks-thanks-thanks to Dr. Tani... a wonderful surgeon who went out of his way one day and not only diagnosed but treated the iliotibial tendonitis that so inconvenienced me. I am running again! What a proud statement. Taking it slow...

Happy Thanksgiving...

Benny's Basil

Well... we had a fabulous weekend. I guess in this house we are jumping straight from Halloween to Christmas this year. I had some Thanksgiving stuff out for a couple days but I was really eager to put up my beautiful tree and let my muffins decorate away. To be quite honest if it was socially acceptable I would have my tree up all year. Christmas is my favorite... always has been. So I will enjoy this seasonal spirit for as long as I possibly can. It started with the music, I'm blaming it on "99.9 KEZ the Holiday Station". I heard a glimpse of it in the car and it sparked the Christmas itch. So yes... Christmas got into my head, through my bones... and all the way down to my toes. Literally. I asked Benny to take off my boots please, I have a hidden surprise. I knew I could get him to smile with my funny Christmas socks. He did. However my sergeant didn't like the holiday footsies by the look on his face. So I went and got out all my other ones to model and he didn't like those any better. He politely asks, "Can't you just wear your other ones?" No way. So I made him take a picture with them.

I even danced in them with my little loves. I couldn't help myself. My tree was up and Andy Williams 'Holiday Season' came on. The kids are getting heavy to dance with... kind of winded me.

I did a lot of cooking this weekend too... Benny and I had a special session together in our holiday spirited home. I got him a basil plant not too long ago. He likes these little Caprese bites I make. When I put them together and set them in the fridge they somehow disappear and I know just who is guilty. Benny's basil plant flourished... so we made pesto together. What else to do? I'm sure we will figure out lots more but this was a great start. He was a little upset at the sight of the plant after I took the leaves off but he understood after some explaining of how it will just grow back, and even better. He loved his pesto with his noodles and french baguettes. And son... I love you.

What a glorious Sunday... Happy week everyone!

^Mom's________________________________ ^Benny's

.....The Sergeant was snoozing.

Wheezes and Things

Here is pickle #1 and pickle #2 in the middle of watching the WS at only 7:30pm tonight... it's been a long last two weeks, but grateful ones at that.

This early pass-out is partly due to running club starting this week, yay!! The boys had their first run this morning. I was extremely jealous. It was a beyond-beautiful morning. I have hurt my right knee in some way so I'm not so sure if my half marathon this coming year will be a smart one... downer. So I am living extra vicariously through my babes in these moments. S. Stink ran 12 laps, Benny 7.

This means that my Sergeant is feeling better. I was comforted to hear at the dinner table about all these laps he ran today. He scared me Saturday morning. He awoke at 3am wanting to play a computer game. This is my child who craves his own bed, hardly changes position in his sleep and never wakes up during the night. I gave him an odd look as my tired brain tried to figure out this absurd request. An hour later he crawls into my nest and snuggles with his mom. I awoke another hour later to heavy breathing. It was one of those creepy sounds that will wake you out of any deepest sleep. My first thought- I was squishing him. No, he just wasn't breathing well. The Nurse in me left at that time and all that was there was a terrified mom. I broke his sleep, sat him up and said, "Honey, honey, get up! What's wrong??" He tells me "I don't know mom but my chest hurts." I looked at him wanting to cry over the sounds of his junky lungs not even needing auscultation from a stethoscope to figure out whats going on. The Nurse in me starts coming to and I gather him, his worried brother who cried and kissed him on the cheek, a couple of bags, and off we were to the hospital. No pneumonia per chest xray... thank God. Just a reactive airway due to a crummy virus. I'm hoping this is where it ends needing only an albuterol inhaler and spacer. Mom will be watching you dear boy...

I have filled some hard to fill shoes at work (temporarily) which entails some lengthy standing. I envisioned doing a head-stand at the end of the day or even sleeping like a bat to compensate for what my body isn't totally used to. I also never enjoy seeing someone feel threatened, makes my heart sad. I encouraged my dear and sweet patient through some of his depression after his stroke... the worst type of CVA I never like seeing anyone go through, but always have the heart and feel honored to help.

I still have loads of energy to finish laundry, do homework, play with my cupcakes, pack lunches, make dinners, read, pray, blog, hit the gym, order a new phone cover, hunt for a twilight shirt I can bedazzle, and face any other thing that may come my way.

I do wish you two pickles had the same kind of energy tonight... I kind of really missed you!! Oh well... tomorrow we will play at the park, go to IHOP for those scary face pancakes you want and carve pumpkins together. xoxoxoxo

Your home... it's Fall!

I was tired this morning. I stayed up really late last night... and still woke up at my usual time. My body just won't sleep-in. I awoke thinking deep thoughts about complicated things. Sometimes that's good. What else is good... no, really-really good:

My babies are home!!!

Their sweet and tan faces broke my morning thought as I looked at each one, still in sleep right next to me. Then I kiss those sweet sleeping faces and they automatically and unknowingly move closer to their mom. I quietly escaped the tight nest this morning to go make crepes as I remembered the delicious peach preserves we just got from Schnepfs Farm.

We didn't have games this weekend, but we sure had a whole lot of love. My home is filled with sounds of joy again and smells of good cooking. We even have the Halloween spirit in our house with Halloween hay, lights, pumpkins and candles. We added a couple of new scary movies to our collection too. The boys wanted to watch sports center, sip on cinnamon apple cider, and run around in silly wigs while mom decorated this year. They are getting bigger and growing out of some things. Benny told me I should have done this decorating while they were gone and then he helped me put up some bats in his subtle dismay. Stinker. I didn't mind though... just glad to have my muffins back.

We had more memorable times at Schnepfs this year. My Sergeant won the pig nose prize at the pig races. For some reason my children always get chosen and win at this show... every year. S Stink had help from mom this time. The director asked the audience what we all thought he fed the pigs to get them to run so fast. This wasn't our first rodeo so I whisper "oreos" and then my child flew out of my lap to blast out the answer without hesitation. The next thing I know, his pig won the race and he returned to mom with a snout. Benny even went up there next. His pig didn't win, but he recieved some chewy taffy out of the deal... so he didn't mind much at all.

I recommend if you go to bring graham crackers and chocolate like we did for roasting marshmallows by the fire. If you do... you may snag a cute smores photo like this:

There was a great BMX bike show added this year and the boys can now reach the pedals to race me at the road rally. The swings and the spooky train were a hit as it is every year. We even got to sit at the front of the train this time. It was extra scary because we were the first ones that the monsters jumped out at. We stayed until close and watched the fireworks. Stink fell asleep with candy in his mouth on the way home.


I'm sure glad to have you two back in my arms and house again... kissy kiss kiss.

Muffins, Pickles and Cupcakes

We all have our own cravings.

Mine... a good gym class, a better book, wise advice, nice glass of wine, my cutting board and stove, my keyboard, my patients, my babies.

I'm missing a couple of these right now. My computer has crashed and I am crushed. My favorite little men have gone on vacation with their dad. So here that leaves me... tapping on a foreign keyboard expressing my love with moist eye-lids tonight... how crazy in love I am with you two.

I miss my Muffins. My Muffins that at the end of any hard day can always make me smile.

I miss my Pickles. My Pickles that truly fill my heart with joy and soul with laughter.

I miss my Cupcakes. My Cupcakes that have the most loving arms and sweetest touch.

While I worry about you... Mom was excited to have some time to herself. My heels were dusty, what a shame I thought. So I did some dusting and went on a couple of fabulous dates, girly dinners, and had a few leisurely days. I also went through all of your stuff and formed two capacious bags of donations out of old toys. In the process I discovered every missing sock in a toy drawer and even a full school uniform wadded up in the costume bin. I found all the candy wrappers in the very creative places from sneaking treats in your rooms, busted. Each of those made me grin. :)

It's always a bit refreshing to dress up and meet great, new people. Or spending uninterrupted time with those I don't get the chance to very often. Not to mention the quiet in the air or the freedom to do as I please, whenever I please. It was a good taste until Monday. The tears came that day. I had just hopped out of the shower when "Bennie and the Jets" came on. That's an odd song I sometimes sing to my Benny in the car as he pretends for a brief minute he doesn't like it but dearly delights in it and especially as I do the Buh-buh-buh Benny part. I couldn't hold back any longer, I was really missing you guys.

I have had enough of the napkin in the lap. The freedom was nice for a smidgen. I want to pick grass out of your dirty soccer socks as I fold laundry. I miss the sound of camaraderie in my home. I want our crazy schedule and busy weekends full of games back. I want to make you breakfast, cook you dinner and bake you after school snacks. I want to break up the brotherly love squabbles. I want to kiss your face, look at your jolly eyes as you tell me about all of the things you have been doing and squeeze the dang crap out of you. I want to read with you and snuggle. Home is where my heart is... with my family. It's just not the same without you... I don't care if your dirty muffins, sour pickles or rotten cupcakes when you get back. In fact, I would prefer it for a tid-bit please. Our favorite season has begun... it's park and bike time! I'm excited to decorate the house for Halloween with you, so hurry home. I had to light my Spiced Pumpkin candle without you this year.

Well, my moist lids have now become moist cheeks. I can't wait until you babes come home, where we belong together.

Ha'o wau ia 'oe... Aloha wau ia 'oe